London Police Seek Public’s Help in Severed Finger Mystery

I don’t know about you, but a finger isn’t the kind of thing I just leave lying around. Whenever I lose one, I’m always sure to stick it in a jar or at least make a note of where I left it. Apparently, one unknown and unlucky Londoner isn’t so careful with his lost fingers, because London police have called for the public’s help in tracking down the owner of a severed finger that has gone mysteriously unclaimed.

Yes, this is a wooden replica. I learned the hard way that image searching for "severed finger" is a great way to ruin your day.

Yes, this is a wooden replica. I learned the hard way that image searching for “severed finger” is a great way to ruin your day.

The BBC reports that the finger was found by a dog while out for a walk in Woburn Walk, Bloomsbury, in a courtyard behind an abandoned storefront. The finger was found over seven years ago, but years of cross-referencing the finger’s DNA profile with several missing persons databases as well as with both survivors and victims of the 2005 terrorist attacks which occurred nearby have turned up nothing other than that the finger belonged to a male. Let’s see…that rules out 52% of the London population, leaving just over 4.5 million people. It can’t be that hard to find one with a missing finger, right?

Out of all the places to lose a finger, London's not so bad. Sure beats a doberman's mouth.

Out of all the places to lose a finger, London’s not so bad. Sure beats an angry doberman’s mouth.

Well, apparently it is. Detective Constable Tom Boon told the BBC that law enforcement have run out of ideas in the search for the finger’s owner:

We have now exhausted all lines of inquiry and have been unable to find out who the finger belongs to and how the finger became detached in the first place. It is quite the mystery. If anyone has any information, no matter how small or insignificant they think it is, we would urge them to contact us. It would be great to be able to find out who the finger belongs to after all these years.

Yeah, plus that thing’s gotta smell just great by now. I’m sure the London police will be more than happy to get rid of it. Gross.

That's probably why they left it there in the first place.

That’s probably why the owner left it there in the first place.