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Red Pills of the Week — May 19th

Greetings, fellow Coppertops! This week’s mission of discovery will let us explore strange chemical mysteries and magnetic remedies, glimpses of the not-so-distant future along with reminiscences of our folkloric past, and the most serious revelations might just be hidden under the veil of comedy. So everyone take positions and be on the lookout for squiddies.

(10) Electro-magnetism is the most effective defense against those damn sentinels, and it looks like it might also be the key to defend ourselves against some of Earth’s most feared predators: sharks. American chemist Eric Stroud says magnets can be very effective repellents against the razor-toothed leviathans, since their snouts possess tiny electrical sensors that get saturated by the strong fields of the magnets.

Although this looks like promising research, I cannot help thinking we as humans have ALL our priorities ass-backwards. Sure I got traumatized for life like everybody else thanks to Spielberg and his giant rubber carcharo-bot, but if we look at the statistics we find that the odds of being killed by a shark are 3 hundred million to one —chances of being on an airplane with a drunken pilot? 115 to 1. Good luck with magnets helping you with that, Ben!

(9) The scariest thing about shark attacks is that you can rarely see them coming, but when it comes to spontaneous human combustion, they are still completely unpredictable. The latest of these infamous ignitions was suffered by a 43-year-old woman in San Clemente Calif, and authorities suspect two rocks which the victim had previously gathered at the beach and kept in her pocket were behind the near-tragedy:

“There is phosphorous that naturally occurs on the sand at the beach, but no one has ever heard of pants catching fire,” Stone said.

Stone is the name of the OCFA capt. that attended the victim, Twilight language once again. Saint Clement BTW happens to be the patron saint of blacksmiths & metal workers, and ‘Old Clem’s night’ “started literally with a bang and showers of sparks during the ritual “firing of the anvil,” according to Wikipedia —not to mention the hour of the event: aprox. 3:30 pm, quite close to 333, my personal number of the Trickster. Curiouser and curiouser…

(8) They say the desert is the ocean of fire, and for a poor WWII pilot stranded in the middle of the Sahara, it must have been Hell on Earth. As The Daily Mail —and our own Aaron Wright— reported this week, an RAF Kittyhawk P-40 fighter plane that crashed-landed 70 years ago has been found in a surprising state of preservation, which quickly prompted British archeologists to ask the MoD for its immediate recovery. The pilot, Flight Sergeant Dennis Copping, is presumed to have tried to walk out of the desert; a sadly fruitless attempt which, nevertheless, speaks volumes about the courageous determination of the men and women who valiantly served their country in the greatest conflagration in human history.

A fight where you lose while still standing is never a defeat.

(7) A name reminiscent of another great man is Kennedy, and this week said name was linked once again with yet another tragedy, which causes some to invoke a multi-generational curse plaguing the famous lineage. This time it was the turn of Mary Kennedy, 52, the estranged and troubled wife of Robert F. Kennedy Jr. who was found dead of suicide (by hanging) last Wednesday.

Who knows. Maybe it’s the karmic result of the Faustian pact that the leader of the clan, Joseph, signed to secure his son’s rise to power. Or maybe it’s the cosmic ripples caused by how close we came to our self-annihilation during the Cuban missile crisis. Whatever the case, it seems like the name Kennedy is still mired with quite a lot of bad mojo.

(6) When it comes to curses and names which convey scenes of great affliction though, few in the New Age lexicon can pair with Nibiru. After all, a bullet you might get to dodge, but a whole planet? Not even The One would pull that off!

And as far-fetched as the idea of a rogue planet might be, it’s hard to repress such imagery for a second or two after reading the news that an astronomer at the National Observatory of Brazil in Rio de Janeiro is proposing the existence of a new unseen planet, in order to explain the celestial mechanics governing the objects inhabiting the farthest domains of our solar system. Based on the calculations by Robert Gomez, either our hypothetically new neighbor is 4 times the size of the Earth, with an orbit 140 million miles away from the Sun, or it could also be the size of Mars but with a highly elongated orbit —an orbit that would occasionally bring the body sweeping to within 5 billion miles (8 billion kilometers) of the sun. You just know this is going to eventually be mentioned in some new episode of Ancient Aliens, which will undoubtedly unleash large quantities of mouth-frothing upon the keyboards of many a skeptic.

(5) Speaking of drooling, it seems our ancestors were used to do plenty of that inside their caves; at least according to some archeologists who think they’ve found the oldest depiction of female genitalia. The alleged paleo-vulva was found in France —of course— at a cave called Abri Castanet, a site full of symbolic engravings considered to be as old as the ones we discussed last week in Chauvet, where beautifully artistic depictions of mega-fauna were found. So I guess Castanet is where they sent all the exiled pervs to live?

Or maybe it’s the archeologists the ones that need to leave their excavation sites more often, because honestly —and not that I’m bragging to be an expert or anything — but that er, thing doesn’t look like a vagina to me! It’s waaay to round for starters, man… unless our great-great-great-great-grand daddies used to be more um, well endowed shall we say, back in those ages—Hmm… maybe *I* need to get out my cave more often too.

(4) But when it comes to tripods, you really can’t beat modern Science. Meet Cathy Hutchinson, a 58-year-old paralyzed woman who can command a robotic arm with the power of her thoughts:


Boy I bet that coffee was the sweetest thing she’s ever tasted 🙂

Might we also see the day when healthy individuals decide to upgrade their own physicality, without restricting themselves to anthropomorphic conventionalities? If that’s the case, ‘being human’ is a term that will turn fuzzier and fuzzier.

(3) Science Fiction is turning into Science Fact quicker than we can seem to manage, but what of the time when we used to believe in magic and coexist with fantastic beings? That time never faded away in Iceland apparently, with people from all professions and walks of life still believing in the existence of elves. Case in point: MP for the Independence Party Árni Johnsen, who arranged for the relocation of a 30-ton boulder which he believes is the home of three generation of fairie folk. The rock was moved from Sandskeið in southwest Iceland to his home in the Westman Islands last Tuesday.

“I had Ragnhildur Jónsdóttir, a specialist in the affairs of elves from Álfagarðurinn in Hellisgerði, Hafnarfjörður, to come look at the boulder with me,” recollected Árni. “She said it was incredible, that she had never met three generations of elves in the same boulder before.”

“She said an elderly couple lives on the upper floor but a young couple with three children on the lower floor,” the MP described

Well, isn’t that nice? Elvish condos!

Now it would be easy to mock these sort of folk beliefs, but I’m not going to do that. Regardless of the possible existence of invisible pixies with a penchant for monolithic dwellings, this news got me thinking about the current assumptions we members of the Fortean community have re. things like Disclosure: Right now we all are under the impression that *if* Disclosure were to happen, it would be an immediate & universal paradigm shift; yet what guarantees do we have that would be the case? What if Disclosure happens in a gradual fashion, with some communities adopting an absolute certainty in the existence of non-human entities, and slowly expanding until some global turning point was finally reached?

(2) But in order for that to happen, we may first need to break the code of silence preventing Military personnel from sharing their UFO experiences. And that’s exactly what Ex-Army Colonel John Alexander is seeking with his plea for amnesty to anyone in the military who has been previously sworn to secrecy about UFOs. Now this is something of a tricky situation —or would that be trickstery?— because it’s well known Alexander’s position that although yes, some UFOs are genuine signs of alien intelligence, he not only thinks the US government is not withholding any secret & explosive information about flying saucers, but that the general attitude it takes when faced with the few truly unexplainable cases is a collective & bureaucratic ‘Meh’.

So why the plea for amnesty then? Well it’s simple really (or is it?): this way Alexander thinks it would show once and for all that “there’s no policy of [UFO] secrecy” and sway the suspicions of the UFO community & the American people, finally proving their government isn’t hiding anything from them. Because with the amnesty obviously no one in the Military would have any fear of coming out with the UFO secrets they’ve been allegedly ordered not to reveal, and since no one will ever come out —per John’s rationale— then there weren’t any UFO secrets to begin with, right?

Well, I only have two things to respond to Alexander: Bradley Manning, and Code Red.


(1) Alexander is fond of always finishing his UFO presentations by putting on a pair of sunglasses and flashing a toy neuralizer in front of the audience, jokingly mimicking the MIB characters made famous by Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones in the 1990s. This summer the black-suited duo will return to the big screen, and during a promotional stunt on a radio program for the BBC, Will Smith happened to reveal a very suggestive little anecdote: During a private tour to the White House, Smith’s son Jayden had a rather other-worldly inquiry for president Obama —a question he strikingly anticipated:

“The aliens, right? OK, I can neither confirm nor deny the existence of extraterrestrials but I can tell you if there had been a top secret meeting and if there would have had to have been a discussion about it, it would have taken place in this room.”


Obviously this little ‘intimate’ moment between Obama & lil Jayden is so deliciously ambiguous you can take it any way you want. One can easily just regard it as a LOL take showing the President is a man smart enough to know when to lie back and not be serious. BUT… with all the previous examples we have where Obama’s predecessors seemed to have taken a light-hearted approach as a way to downplay a real personal interest in the UFO phenomenon, it does make you wonder…


Maybe the actual fantasy is to imagine the person living in the White House would ever be entrusted with whatever knowledge about UFOs all the soup-letter agencies have gathered through the decades, when they don’t even share the stuff they know with each other! Need-to-know is the real glue holding that house of cards together :-/

Until next time, this is RPJ jacking out & wishing everyone a safe return to Zion.


Miguel Romero a.k.a. Red Pill Junkie is a cartoonist and fortean blogger who writes at Mysterious Universe
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