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Red Pills of the Week — November 10th

Greetings, fellow Coppertops! Our exploration this week will take us from the forests of Utah to the planet Krypton, in search of creatures that may or may not be equally fictional. We’ll study the fall of empires and the dawn of new paradigms. And as we ponder upon whether the news of UFOlogy’s death have been greatly exaggerated or not, we’ll revise new sightings which remind us how the phenomenon NEVER submits to our collective expectations. Now, listen up because I’m only saying this ONCE: jacking in to Colorado without permission is subject to a misconduct review by the council of Zion –yes, ensign Grimerica: I’m talking TO YOU.

(10) So in case you are Walt Disney & have just be woken up from your cryo-chamber, you already know that on November 6th the gringos re-elected Bronco Bama 4 more years.

And yet the most important development in this historical date IMO is that Colorado & Washington voted in favor of legalizing the recreational use of marijuana, signaling an eventual end to the futile WoD initiated by Tricky Dicky in 1971.

As I commented on the RPoW on September 29th, the reason I find this incredibly important in order to elicit a true Paradigm change in our culture, is because putting an end to the satanization of psychotropic substances will facilitate research on its potential benefits, not only for terminal patients or people suffering from acute depression, but also because entheogens might open the door to the much needed realization of the non-material & non-local nature of human consciousness.

And if that happens, I guarantee you that the secrets behind UFOs, ghosts and PSI will reveal themselves faster than you can pass around a joint. We’re about to start jammin’, baby!

(9) And maybe to prove my point, a new wave of UFO sightings over Denver has even an aviation expert mystified. An anonymous Denver resident approached a local TV network with videos of what appear to be UFOs displaying maneuvers far too swift for the human eye to capture. The network decided to send their own camera crew to the same spot where the videos were taken, and even they managed to capture on video the mystifying objects.

KDVR then turned to Steve Cowell, a former commercial pilot and FAA accident prevention counselor, to see if he could make any sense out of the mysterious flying objects on the videos.

“I can’t identify it,” Cowell told KDVR. “That is not an airplane, that is not a helicopter, those are not birds.”

Cowell suggested that the objects could be debris raising up from the ground by atmospheric winds. He also didn’t think the UFOs could be explained as bugs.


IMO the aliens just found out marijuana is now legal in Colorado, hence they are starting to probe the situation –pardon the pun– in search of more attuned minds for Contact 😉

(8) After Obama’s victory, the people who joyfully partook in a Gangnam style celebratory dance were the people from NASA. The reason being that the space agency might soon announce a new manned mission to the moon –which is kind of odd, considering how Obama pulled off the plug on the Constellation program that Dubya proposed…

With China pursuing an aggressive space program which includes a new manned space mission next year, along with further plans for an unmanned lunar mission by 2020, will we have ourselves a proper Cold-war style space race? Stay tuned.

(7) The space program has always managed to capture the imagination of the younger generations. Who hasn’t dreamed of riding a spaceship, or being the first lucha libre wrestler on Mars? And yet another field which is far less popular, and yet arguably as important as Space exploration –perhaps even more so!– is the research on Quantum Mechanics, that mind-bending part of modern Science which turned rigorous materialists into  metaphysical magicians.

One of the most WTF aspects of quantum mechanics is the dual nature of light. It can either behave as a particle or a wave, depending on how you rig your experiments. And now a new measurement apparatus developed by a team leaded by physicist Alberto Peruzzo of England’s University of Bristol can show light behaving as BOTH a particle and a wave. In simple terms, this is akin to open Schrödinger’s box, and finding the damn cat is both alive and dead!

Granted, the spooky effect was only achieved for a few nanoseconds, but theoretically the collapse of the quantum state could be delayed indefinitely. The implications to this rather audacious experiment are hard to conceive at this moment. But just remember: you wouldn’t be able to waste your time reading this lines if it weren’t for the real-life applications of quantum mechanics –a theory that’s just a little over 100-years old, whereas we started to fool around with electromagnetism in the 18th century…

(6) Light that can be either a particle or a wave (or both) is pretty weird, yet it doesn’t affect us that much since the weirdness happens on the realms of the very little. But when you hear the news of a pregnant man, in the realms of the 6 o’clock news? Now THAT is pretty f#$%ing weird, period!

Well, that thought might have crossed Reddit user CappnPoopDeck’s mind when he decided to pee on a pregnancy test his ex-girlfriend left on his home –because what the hell, right?– an further proving that Mother Nature is the ultimate troll, the test turned out ‘positive’. But before CappnPoopDeck could have the perfect excuse to eat all the ice cream and cold poptarts he wanted, per suggestion of a Reddit peep he decided to go to the doctor, who confirmed that the pregnancy test had detected Human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG) because he had a very rare –and lethal– form of testicular cancer.

The moral of the story? the lulz can save your life, bud!

(5) You know another thing people do for the lulz? Blobsquatching on Youtube. Hoaxing a Bigfoot video using a minion wearing a gorilla suit or a ghillie camouflage suit, while employing a conveniently shaky camera a-la Blair Witch Project, can be pulled off by anyone; which makes it almost an embarrassing guilty pleasure for the average Cryptofan, when you sit in front of your computer and decide to click play on the newest ‘like OMG! proof’ that big hairy giants are not as camera-shy as we think they are.

And yet all the lame-ass videos haven’t stopped this recent clip allegedly taken on Provo Canyon, Utah from reaching viral proportions:


While the usual skeptics think this is yet another typical Blobsquatch shenanigans, others maintain that the reaction shown by the two witnesses is perfectly natural. Of course, that wouldn’t discount the possibility that the animate entity shown rising behind the autumn trees is nothing but a black bear, instead of your typical jackass on a King-Kong costume.

Adding to the fact that this was taken during the hunting season gives reason to believe this is not a simple hoax. Still, what more can we really say about the black object shown, other than it seems fairly large? If someone could return to the same spot where this clip was taken, in order to make size comparisons, that would probably help us find adding evidence to this case.

My personal reaction? Interesting, yet not that compelling.

(4) While Bigfoot will always remain an all-time favorite for the Fortean enthusiasts, there’s no denying that the Mayas have taken a central stage these past years, for obvious reasons. As December 21st keeps coming closer and closer, and Ben insists on instilling a paranoid mindset on the unrelenting Aaron, more and more news dealing with the Mayas –and the still unclear reasons why their civilization collapsed– keep showing up on the mainstream media.

The latest one of these news pertains to a recent study published on the journal Science, which made use of a pristine stalagmite found on a cave in Belize in order to extract the most detailed climate record during the period of the Maya collapse –and if the thought of using a freaking stalagmite as a geological CD doesn’t give you goosebumps, kindly close this page and turn in your RPJ’s official fan-club badge!

The result: when the Mayas city-states started to suffer the effects of an atypical drought, their social structure wasn’t able to cope with the dwindling water & food resources, ensuing hostile rivalry and wars. And this of course is nothing new in the history of mankind, considering how scientists tell us of the end of the Harappan civilization 3000 years ago, in the Hindus valley —and which might happen again to modern India in the years to come.

Just the type of instability we ourselves might get to experience, in light of how the Pentagon commissioned a study on ‘climate wars’ in 2004. I mean, I don’t want to get all preachy & $#!t like I did last week –then again, last week I didn’t know that a NEW storm would hit the same regions affected by Sandy…

(3) Would we able to survive the nasty effects of global warming? Possibly, if we are willing to make some drastic changes on our life style. Would we be able to survive the explosion of our home star? Not an effing chance in hell, bro.

Of course, if we knew beforehand that such tragedy was about to occur, and had the means to send a few select emissaries to colonize other planets so that the human race didn’t go completely extinct, we would undoubtedly do so. My comic-reading friends will undoubtedly recognize this scenario as the genesis of Superman, and they probably geeked out as much as yours truly when they learned that astronomy rockstar Neil deGrasse Tyson made a very special cameo this week in DC’s newest Superman issue, in order to help the Man of Steel find his home planet Krypton.

Tyson also laid a hand as Science consultant so the Science behind the pulp fiction was as accurate as possible when the time came to choose a suitable M-Type red star which would function as Kal-El’s fictional solar system; a star that happens to be part of the Corvus constellation –which raises an interesting question:  What does it mean that Earth’s most popular superhero is now linked to the trickstery crow?

And yes, turns out that eye-catching vest is real, too! Which goes to show only a badass can wear something like that, and get away with it.

(2) Neil is known to have made some pretty caustic –and misinformed– opinions with regards to the UFO phenomenon. Which is understandably, since he’s a part of the Academic community; were he to have more unorthodox ideas on UFOs, he would know better as to disclose them publicly.

And yet that kind of redemption cannot be given to the spokespersons for the ‘Scientific Study of Anomalous Phenomena (ASSAP)’, who recently made the blood pressure of many a UFO enthusiast rise dangerously high, with their ASSinine remarks that the end of UFOlogy was nigh.

I won’t extend myself with my reasons why these ASSAP dudes –the operative term given by the first 3 letters of their acronym– are completely dead wrong with their claims. My friends and colleagues Ben & Aaron on the latest MU podcast, along with my Cosmic Compadre Micah Hanks on the Gralien Report have done an excellent job already. Suffice it to say that I humbly suggest these little items for the ASSAP members’ Xmas gift list this year:

(1) Sure UFOs are no longer seen, right?! Well, tell that to the people living near the Malmstrom Air Force base in Montana, who keep reporting unusual aerial phenomena near the vicinity of this sensitive installation. And just keep in mind that these folks are more than used to the type of craft and maneuvers which are part of the regular management of this military facility, and yet they couldn’t identify these objects. As reported by one of the witnesses:

“What I saw were definitely not flares. The lights were not falling to the ground, or burning out like a flare. There was no airplane above me. I would have heard it if there was. These lights were attached to objects that were silent, moving in a straight line, and definitely V-shaped.”

What makes these reports particularly interesting, is that a) Malmstrom Air Force base stores strategic nuclear ICBMs, as part of North America’s defense grid; and b) that these recent sightings echo another event which has become an important part of the modern UFO lore, occurring on March 24, 1967. On that day, former USAF Captain Robert Salas was stationed along with his superior officer, Col. Frederick Meiwald, when they received a warning from the security guards outside the silo stating the presence of an unknown red-glowing object. Not long after that, a number of the ICBMs went instantly offline, resulting in a major security emergency. When the case was investigated, both Meiwald and Salas were sworn to secrecy, although eventually Salas decided to break his oath and come public with his account, publishing the book Faded Giant.

Meiwald kept his mouth shout, although before passing away last August he did accept to be interviewed by both Salas and Robert Hastings, generally confirming the former’s story.

What does these incidents reveal? Although the intentions of the entities behind the UFO phenomenon remain inscrutable, one thing can be said with confidence: whoever they are, and whatever they want, they have the power to infiltrate near or inside the only superpower’s most sensitive installations. And that’s something that should give anyone pause –if they’re not keeping their head buried inside their ASSAP that is…

Until next time, this is RPJ jacking out. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to find why the bridge of the Nebuchadnezzar is so foggy… and why the crew keeps giggling uncontrollably!



Miguel Romero a.k.a. Red Pill Junkie is a cartoonist and fortean blogger who writes at Mysterious Universe
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