Nov 22, 2014 I Paul Seaburn

Surviving Global Disasters May Mean Eating Slime

Forget the survivalist food and meals-ready-to-eat. Clean out the crates of canned tuna from the cellar. If you plan to survive natural disasters, nuclear winter, severe climate change or some other apocalyptic event, get ready now by developing a taste for bacterial slime.

That’s the recommendation of Joshua Pearce, co-author with David Denkenberger of a new book titled “Feeding Everyone No Matter What: Managing Food Security After Global Catastrophe.” In their research at Michigan Technological University, they sought answers to the question:

Is it possible to still feed everybody after a complete collapse of the agricultural system?

Their disasters were: sudden climate change, super-weeds, super-bacteria, super-pests, super-pathogens, super-volcano eruption, asteroid or comet impact and nuclear winter. Solutions would only be considered if they could feed everyone for five years, giving the planet time to recover and agriculture to redevelop. That time limit eliminated all forms of stockpiling due to space restrictions.

The researchers came up with two acceptable solutions. The first was to gather up any remaining fossil fuels (the energy companies will like this one) and use them as food for bacterial slime. The slime can then be eaten (no recipes were given but I’m sure it’s better fried than raw) or fed to rodents and roaches (who will survive the calamities better than us) and then eat them (no recipes for rats and roaches were for them either so it would be wise to stockpile some fireproof cookbooks).

The second solution is use rotten wood to grow mushrooms, which can be eaten or fed to rodents, roaches, bugs and surviving animals (I see a pattern here). There will be plenty of dead and dying trees so this sounds like a better and more edible solution, provided you stockpile fireproof books on how to identify poisonous mushrooms.

Bacterial slime, mushrooms, rats and roaches. I think I had all of them once at a diner in Oklahoma.


Paul Seaburn

Paul Seaburn is the editor at Mysterious Universe and its most prolific writer. He’s written for TV shows such as "The Tonight Show", "Politically Incorrect" and an award-winning children’s program. He's been published in “The New York Times" and "Huffington Post” and has co-authored numerous collections of trivia, puzzles and humor. His “What in the World!” podcast is a fun look at the latest weird and paranormal news, strange sports stories and odd trivia. Paul likes to add a bit of humor to each MU post he crafts. After all, the mysterious doesn't always have to be serious.

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