Have you ever wondered why some environmentalists are smiling while hugging trees? Have you ever wondered if the hugged trees might be showing their appreciation by oozing sap? Does the mental image of this turn you on? Then you need to book yourself a trip to Australia and visit the Melbourne Royal Botanic Gardens where there’s a special house set up for those who love the land in a missionary position.
The Gardens’ newly-opened Ecosexual Bathhouse is a six-room cottage converted by artists Loren Kronemyer and Ian Sinclair into a combination sex-and-soil fantasy experience where they hope to give people a new way to love the land.
Maybe if we can encourage people to have an erotic engagement with the Earth, then we can encourage them to save it.
Sinclair describes a typical stay at the bathhouse. Guests wear finger condoms to protect the plants and soil as they run their fingers through the flowers, grasses and dirt. They can also wear surgical masks covered in grass for some French mulching. There’s “bespoke eco-sex pornographic” magazines to get one in the mood to talk dirty. After steaming off the dirt and pollen in the sauna, guests enter the Divinity Room which has a double bed, the sound of a rainstorm pouring out of the speakers and special glasses to observe the light show. What he doesn’t say is if the bed is for two people or a person and plant, possibly a palm or a cornstalk.
Are you steaming like a greenhouse yet? Sinclair points out that inhaling pollen and sneezing is a form of sex with nature (think about that during your next atchoo) and that the Earth is probably getting sexually frustrated as the bee population goes down and pollination becomes an infrequent event.
If this sounds familiar, the “ecosexual” movement was created by American artists (porn) and environmentalists Beth Stephens and Annie Sprinkle, who like to bury themselves in soil, give the Earth massages, roll naked in dirt and other things that you have to pay to see in the U.S. That’s not the case in Australia, where the Ecosexual Bathhouse is being funded by $90,000 in taxpayer money!
Loren Kronemyer and Ian Sinclair are convinced the world can benefit from the Ecosexual Bathhouse and ecosexualism.
We believe the biggest sex organ is the brain, and that if we apply our faculties for imagination and sensory immersion to the environment, we can learn to love the earth and respect the diversity and intricacy that exist around us everyday.
So celebrate the next Earth Day by getting naked with a plant!