Who should you call if you live in Alaska and you spot a strange ice-covered monster floating across a frigid river towards the bank you‘re standing on? If you said “the Alaska Bureau of Land Management,” you’re about to be come ice monster chow. An Alaska Bureau of Land Management employee in Fairbanks was inspecting ice flows in the Chena River last week when he saw an icy creature swimming through the water. He recorded a video and then
ran like hell backed away slowly and took it back to the office. That’s where he and his fellow employees loaded their shotguns, put on their waders and went monster hunting, right?
Our employees did not investigate. It’s kind of far out in the middle of the river. Video was taken right by our BLM Fairbanks District Office facing downstream. We’re not sure what it is. We’re letting you all be the judge.
Yep. The brave employees of the Alaska Bureau of Land Management posted the video on Facebook and told Fairbanks residents to fend for themselves. That might be possible if they had some idea what the monster was. Comments on the Facebook page ranged from huge eel to large pike to giant sturgeon on the nature side, to a sea monster or frozen Loch Ness monster on the paranormal side, to “It’s just a piece of string” on the ‘people with no imagination’ side.
Perhaps the river doesn’t fall under the jurisdiction of the bureau of ‘land’ management. Perhaps we should forgive Craig McCaa for not jumping into the water and saving Fairbanks by barehandedly strangling the monster since he’s just a Public Affairs Specialist. In that capacity, he did do his job by taking a video, watching the monster for a few minutes and estimating its size (12 to 15 feet). However, he didn’t get too close.
It’s strange thing. I don’t know what I would have done if I had come by in a canoe or something. But looking from it above on the University Avenue bridge I didn’t feel too threatened.
Spoken like a true public affairs specialist. He didn’t think it was important enough to turn the video over to any local scientists. Fortunately, Alaska Department of Fish and Game Tanana River Management Biologist Klaus Wuttig saw the video (he didn’t run down to the river either) and speculated it was a rope attached to a bridge pier.
It looks like it’s swimming but it’s actually stationary and just wading in the current. It looks like it’s swimming upstream, but it’s not organic.
If it’s just a rope tied to a pier, shouldn’t it still be there? No brave Alaskans seem to have headed back to the Chena River to confirm whether it’s a monster, a monster fish or a monster rope.
As of this writing, no official identification has been made. What do you think it is?