Tom DeLonge has spoiled UFOs for his peers. It’s no longer enough for celebrities to see unidentified flying objects – not hey have to see something that’s better that anything Tom and his friends in the government and at the To the Stars Academy of Arts & Science have released on video. Need proof? Film director Guillermo del Toro, who is riding a popularity wave after the recent success of The Shape of Water, claims he saw a UFO when he was younger and hated its looks. Only in Hollywood do you hear things like this:
“You sound like a complete lunatic, but I saw a UFO. I didn't want to see a UFO. It was horribly designed. And it went from there to here—like 1,000 meters away—in less than a second and it was so crappy.”
Poor Guillermo. He told the Hollywood Reporter he and a friend were looking at the stars and drinking beer (what a shock) while parked on the side of a freeway outside of Guadalajara in a place called Cerro del Cuatro (Mountain of the Four) when he saw a light on the horizon traveling “super-fast.” So the quick-thinking Guillermo put down his beer and gave his friend instructions.
“And I said, 'Honk and flash the lights.' And we started honking.”
No wonder they attracted an ugly UFO and not a starship.
“It was a flying saucer. So clichéd, with lights going like this. It's so sad.”
No, Guillermo. What’s sad is that you tapped into your inner critic rather than your inner filmmaker and didn’t have a camera or a cell phone to record it. What would Peter Jackson have done? What would Steven Spielberg have done? Those aliens could have been coming to open a whole new market for you and you knock their ride. It gets worse.
“We jumped in the car, drove really fast. I kept looking. It was following us. And then I looked back and it was gone. So, you know, judge me. I have no implant.”
Or maybe you do? How else can you explain how one goes from drinking beer and honking your horn at flying saucers to making movies like The Devil's Backbone, Pan's Labyrinth, Blade II, Hellboy and Pacific Rim?
Then he tries to cover it up by saying he panicked.
“Seriously, like I have never been that scared ever in my life. I wish I could reveal they're not what you think they are. They are what you think they are. And the fear we felt was so primal.”
What a cop-out, Guillermo. You get no sympathy here. That “crappy” flying saucer scared the crap out of you?
What would Ton DeLonge say?