Jan 11, 2018 I Paul Seaburn

Academic Claims Noah had Cell Phones, Drones and Nuclear Power

Does anyone in the world NOT know the story of Noah and his DIY wooden ark filled with family and animals (not necessarily in that order)? After all, it’s been retold many times in many tomes, including the Old Testament, the Quran, the Ethiopian Orthodox Book of Jubilees, the Dead Sea Scrolls and the Epic of Gilgamesh and has spawned hunts for its existence and amusement parks recreating the experience. And yet … a Turkish academic claims all of these have the story wrong. He believes Noah built his ark with steel plates, propelled it with nuclear power, sent a drone to look for dry land, communicated with his son via cellphone and was able to save all of the world’s species because he filled the ark with not pairs of animals but sperm and eggs. Really!

“I am a scientist, I speak for science”

Yavuz Ornek, a lecturer at the Marine Sciences Faculty of Istanbul University, made these bold ‘scientific’ revelations in a recent appearance on a talk show on Turkey's TRT channel that was translated by Hurriyet Daily News . He based his alternative flood narrative on the idea that the waves were too massive and the distances too far to allow mere wood and doves to function successfully.

"There were huge 300 to 400-metre-high waves and his [the Prophet Noah's] son was many kilometers away. The Quran says Noah spoke with his son. But how did they manage to communicate? Was it a miracle? It could be. But we believe he communicated with his son via cellphone."

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How many bars do you have on your phone?

If you believe that people living 5.000 to 7,000 years ago – the time when many archeologists suggest an historical deluge occurred and inspired the various accounts of Noah – had modern technology such as cellphones (and towers) to communicate over great distances, it’s not a stretch for Ornek to extrapolate that other advanced (and not-so-advanced) technologies such as nuclear power, drones and steel allowed Noah to build a ship to withstand and sail through 1,300-foot waves and survey the area while buffeted by high winds that would have kept birds from flying.

But in vitro fertilization? That would certainly allow Noah to build a much smaller ark filled with Petri dishes and beakers stored in nuclear powered coolers … right? Remember, Ornek is a “scientist” who speaks “for science,” not religion, so he is looking for scientific solutions to 7,000-year-old problems and, since wood, nails, doves and pairs of animals don’t solve the problem, he solves it with what he knows best – modern technology.

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If only there was a better way.

But … how did Noah get this modern technology? Not surprisingly, Ornek doesn’t answer that question. However, if one accepts even just some of the ancient astronauts/aliens theories, is it that farfetched to think that the same beings who helped build the pyramids might have also aided in constructing the ark and saving life on earth? Sure, if they had that kind of knowledge and power, a better choice might be to stop the flood, but what kind of stories and movies would that inspire?

Since he’s in Turkey, perhaps Professor Ornek should join in on one of the expeditions to find the ark on Mt. Ararat. And bring a Geiger counter.

Paul Seaburn

Paul Seaburn is the editor at Mysterious Universe and its most prolific writer. He’s written for TV shows such as "The Tonight Show", "Politically Incorrect" and an award-winning children’s program. He's been published in “The New York Times" and "Huffington Post” and has co-authored numerous collections of trivia, puzzles and humor. His “What in the World!” podcast is a fun look at the latest weird and paranormal news, strange sports stories and odd trivia. Paul likes to add a bit of humor to each MU post he crafts. After all, the mysterious doesn't always have to be serious.

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