Jan 11, 2018 I Paul Seaburn

Area 51’s Secret Airline is Looking for a Flight Attendant

Performs Flight Attendant duties aboard Company operated aircraft.

Reports to Operations one (1) hour before scheduled flight or as otherwise assigned by supervisor.

Post/Pre-flights aircraft as assigned.

Perform light cleaning of aircraft interiors.

Active Top Secret Clearance Highly Desired

Wait, what? That sounds like the typical job description of a typical flight attendant. However, Janet is anything but typical, which explains that last qualification. Are you interested in flying in and out of Area 51? Are you willing to serve coffee to any passenger – no matter how many arms they have or how big their heads are? Can you keep your big mouth shut about it? Janet is looking for you.

As anyone who knows anything about Area 51 will tell you, Janet is a mysterious airline operating out of a terminal at Las Vegas' McCarran International Airport that is rumored to fly military and contract employees to the Nevada National Security Site (home of Area 51), and other secretive sites, including Edwards Air Force Base (California), Hill Air Force Base (Utah) and Wright-Patterson Air Force Base (Ohio).  Anyone asking questions about it is jokingly (and occasionally nervously) told Janet stands for "Just Another Non-Existent Terminal." It has six Boeing 737-600s painted white with a red stripe and five executive turboprops painted white with blue stripes.

That’s it. Nothing else to see here. Move along. Any more questions and those men over their in black with the blue gloves will see you in that small room to the right that no one ever comes out of.

Well, that’s normally the case when you try to dig deeper into this airline. However, Janet has opened itself up for scrutiny with the flight attendant job posting on the website of AECOM, the defense contractor which operates it.

“AECOM is a place where you can put your innovative thinking and business skills into high gear and work alongside other highly intelligent and motivated people. It's a place where you can apply your skills to some of the world's most challenging, interesting, and meaningful projects worldwide.”

That sounds like a nice place to work, especially if you like living in Las Vegas where all Janet employees are allegedly based. The duties sound like those of flight attendants at any other airline: ensures security practices and procedures are followed; provide leadership, direction, and assistance during an emergency, including aircraft evacuation; assist and administer first aid to ill or incapacitated passengers or crew members; push heavy doors weighing up to 80 pounds; possess a current state driver’s license.

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Is this why Janet flight attendants need top security clearance?

And then there’s the big one: Active Top Secret Clearance Highly Desired.

That’s not easy to get. A person cannot apply for it – the application must come from a current or prospective employer. The process can take up to two years due to the high number of background checks required. Individuals with Top Secret Clearance are assumed to have access to information or material that could be expected to cause “exceptionally grave damage to national security if it was released without authorization.” The clearance must be reinvestigated every five years.

Does this job sound like something more than checking seat belts. Closing overhead doors and passing out pretzels?

If you think you can handle it, applications are now being taken. Whatever you do, don’t say you got the information from me.

Paul Seaburn

Paul Seaburn is the editor at Mysterious Universe and its most prolific writer. He’s written for TV shows such as "The Tonight Show", "Politically Incorrect" and an award-winning children’s program. He's been published in “The New York Times" and "Huffington Post” and has co-authored numerous collections of trivia, puzzles and humor. His “What in the World!” podcast is a fun look at the latest weird and paranormal news, strange sports stories and odd trivia. Paul likes to add a bit of humor to each MU post he crafts. After all, the mysterious doesn't always have to be serious.

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