Apr 28, 2018 I Paul Seaburn

Maya Calendar May Unlock Secrets of Time Travel

Are you tired of all of these alleged time travelers tripping to the future and bringing back boring tales of robot overlords, blurry pictures of apocalyptic destruction, conflicting stories of what’s going to happen … and no lottery numbers? Well, Timothy Alan heard your cries and has released the secrets of time travel that have been right under your nose the whole time … if your nose was over a Maya calendar.

“Hi there, my name is Timothy Alan and I am a multi-dimensional archaeologist.”

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Tzolkin calendar

A what? Alan’s explanatory video identifies him as a multi-dimensional archaeologist – that’s one who collects 3D digital data from artifacts and use it to create detailed computer simulations that can be shared, analyzed, picked apart and more without damaging (or looting) the original. He claims he’s spent five years studying the Maya Tzolkin calendar – that’s the 260-day Tzolk'in (“Division of days”) calendar. The Maya had many calendars (the infamous “world ends in 2012” calendar was the Long Count), with the Tzolkin being the oldest. Why is this multi-dimensional archaeologist interested in it?

“I found this hidden code in the Mayan calendar that unlocks what you can see here – a vortex-quantumatics like a quantum agreement for a spiritual technology. It’s a multidimensional language.”

Whoa, Tim. Too many big, confusing words in that explanation for the people you’re hoping to convince. Try again.

“After 5 years of daily study trying to figure out what these 10 KEY where about I'd uncovered 40 KEYS and discovered the QELF (Quantum Encoded Light Fractal) as well as Time Portals within the Mayan Tzolkin Calendar.”

Maya calendar days

OK, so Timothy Alan (who goes by the name Timothy Rabbit on another video – is he another time traveler trying to hide his real identity?) seems to be saying he found a key or keys to time portals, which he later identifies as a ‘passage of time’ portal and a ‘personal vision’ portal. Ah, so he didn’t find a time machine – he found time travel doorways. Now we’re getting somewhere. Where are they so we can go get our lottery numbers?

Unfortunately, that’s where Alan’s explanation gets as blurry as the photos his fellow ‘time travelers’ bring back. He says the Maya calendar was invented to map the evolution of human consciousness and the keys helped him make a “divine” time travel map that he plans to use to end our dependency on money.

Just when he appears to have lost everyone, he throws in one thing everyone can relate to.

“All this calendar stuff keeps on coming. It’s like the Da Vinci code – some sort of cosmic Da Vinci code that opened.”

And that’s when we give up on getting our future lottery numbers because the Da Vinci code is fictional and a much better plot for a novel than a Quantum Encoded Light Fractal.

Sorry, Timothy Alan or Timothy Rabbit or whoever you are. Since the world didn’t end in December 2012, we demand more proof of your Maya calendar time traveling.

Paul Seaburn

Paul Seaburn is the editor at Mysterious Universe and its most prolific writer. He’s written for TV shows such as "The Tonight Show", "Politically Incorrect" and an award-winning children’s program. He's been published in “The New York Times" and "Huffington Post” and has co-authored numerous collections of trivia, puzzles and humor. His “What in the World!” podcast is a fun look at the latest weird and paranormal news, strange sports stories and odd trivia. Paul likes to add a bit of humor to each MU post he crafts. After all, the mysterious doesn't always have to be serious.

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