Ghosts are dumb. Not the belief in ghosts; there’s enough truly weird documentation to warrant a belief (well, sometimes it’s dumb). Not ghost hunting; that’s a fine pastime that takes you into some cool places with some cool gadgets that you otherwise wouldn’t go to or use (except for this guy). When I say ghosts are dumb, I mean that ghosts, themselves, are boring and predictable. Dumb.
Ghosts never show up anywhere you wouldn’t immediately expect them to. It’s always a creepy building with a terrible past. Case in point: in Mansfield, Nottinghamshire, UK, there’s a building called “the Village” that has served various roles over the years, all of them so generically creepy you’d expect to find this place in a Stephen King novel—one that was churned out in two days and which he didn’t really care about. Bar with a shady past? Check. Old slaughter house? Check. Hideout for persecuted monks that was burned down and forever cursed? Check. Honestly, it’d be more surprising if there weren’t ghosts hanging around.
The Village is now one of the UK’s most well known haunted attractions, attracting droves of would-be ghost hunters to the innards of the old scare-factory. Recently, a couple touring the Village captured a photograph (which you can see here) of what could be described as a ghostly floating head of one the famed dead monks from the 1500’s.
Tania Copeman and her husband Jared were touring the basement of the building when she snapped the photo. She says she didn’t see anything with her naked eyes but was compelled to snap a couple photos and was stunned when she saw the floating face in the picture.
Stranger still, she says that she felt a physical sensation in line with the lore of the building:
“What was really weird is that while we were in there I could feel the side of my face getting hot so I moved away. As I turned my head, then the front of my face started getting hot. Then Lee, [the tour guide], mentioned about the priests getting burned down there and I thought that was a bit freaky. I think there could be a link between the burning sensation on my face and what I caught in the photo.”
“Could be a link.” Tania, with non-committal skills like that, you’re going far in the ghost hunting world.
Lee Roberts, a ghost hunter and tour guide for the Village, says he checked the CCTV cameras and confirmed that there wasn’t anyone or anything in the basement that could account for the apparition:
“I am quite scientific-minded so the first thing I had to rule out was that it was not something there causing it or pareidolia – and it wasn’t. I’m wary of saying things are paranormal but we cannot explain this so therefore this is paranormal. There was nothing there to explain.”
That’s not how logical proofs work, Lee, but fair enough, and thanks for bringing up pareidolia so I don’t have to.
According to local lore, the Village was a hideout for monks during the Dissolution of the Monasteries, the systematic suppression of monastic orders during the reign of King Henry VIII. Apparently, an underground tunnel ran from the basement of the Village to a nearby Abbey in Nottinghamshire. However, apart from mentions in other stories about ghost sightings and ghost tour websites—all without sources—there isn’t anything to be found online specifically naming the Village as a refuge for the persecuted monks or the site of a monk conflagration.
Yet, by using fuzzy-logic, we can figure this out. We know that ghosts are terribly lacking in creativity, and only show up where it would be completely unsurprising. If a ghost monk shows up, and a ghost hunter feels unexplained intense heat on her face, the basement in question must, therefore, have been a place where both monks and fire existed at once. We’re left with this equation: basement(monk+fire)=ghost monk. No source needed. That’s how you fuzzy-logic.