“Five months from now, I will give birth to a child who will be a mix of a human and an alien from the Andromeda Galaxy. I don’t know what to do, I can’t even imagine the solution to this.”
Just like doors, when one hoax closes … another opens in its place. That seems to be especially true when the hoax has to do with time travelers. Just last week, a young and viraly famous “time traveler” who went by the name ‘Noah’ in his videos uploaded to the ApexTV YouTube channel got a load off of his chest (both present and future) by confessing that his story of visiting the future was a complete fabrication. He also accused Apex TV of strong-arming him and his family to keep the hoax quiet and claims he’s been getting death threats – from the present. The digital ink wasn’t dry on this Internet story when another alleged time traveler revealed on Apex TV (where else?) that she hit the triple-play of paranormal experiences – she traveled to the future, she met an alien and now she’s back in the present and carrying its hybrid baby. Charge up your Hoax Meter and hook it up to this video. (Watch it here.)
“I don’t know what to do, I can’t even imagine the solution to this.”
Well, obviously, she imagined one thing she could do – she made an anonymous video with her face and the ultrasound of her human-alien fetus pixelated, told an incredible story of traveling to the year 3500, getting impregnated by a future alien who was fighting with future humans, and then made the walk of shame back to 2019. Apex TV promises to show the hybrid baby when it’s born in five months.
“I won’t go into details because the pain, humiliation, and torture we went through was inhumane.”
We? Yes, this anonymous time traveler was one of 20 humans who went to the future. How? As with most time travel scenarios, descriptions of the time machine and how it operates are verbally pixelated. Her nebulous story starts as an 18-year-old chemistry student studying at University in Paris who, while working in a lab, accidentally walks into a “secret room” with others working on what she calls the “iron mass.” (Why couldn’t she have been an English major?) Acting nonchalantly, she not only manages to go unnoticed in this “secret room” but ends up working on the project, ultimately being selected to travel to 3500.
“The world had turned into a war zone.”
In the movie business, that’s called a “plot point” – meaning that things have suddenly taken an unexpected turn for the worse. The woman claims that radioactive magnet waves (we haven’t fixed them 1500 years into the future?) prevent them from returning, so they spent a year there watching humans battle aliens until the aliens get the upper hand, kidnap and enslave the time travelers, impregnate her and kill the rest … before she somehow (this is also a plot point but not a good one since she gives no details – what are the CGI people going to do?) gets back to the present carrying the alien-human hybrid. Isn’t she afraid Daddy (Mommy? Thingy?) will come back for it? As always, tune in to Apex TV (the home of time travel soap operas) for the next installment.
Why do these alleged time travelers seem to end up at Apex TV and not CNN or Fox or the Travel Channel? Perhaps those others don’t pay as well for the story. Why are they so concerned about their identity? Is it for their safety … or Apex TV’s? Why is it that aliens always seem to come from Andromeda? Is that the only galaxy they teach about in school?
There are so many holes in this time travel story it makes its own breeze. If they’re going to continue to make these videos, can someone at Apex TV at least talk a screenwriting class and see a few classic time travel movies (Back to the Future, The Terminator, Time Bandits, 12 Monkeys, The Time Machine to name a few)? If we’re going to watch a hoax, please try to entertain and/or scare us. Please?