Before there was an Internet, the best (and sometimes only) way one could express their opinion in public was by writing a letter (ask your grandpa) to the local newspaper (ask him about these too). This story comes from the Conway Daily Sun, the “the dominant news media in the Mount Washington Valley” of New Hampshire. In a letter to the editor (the “comments” section back in the day), a concerned citizen named Caleb White presented the paper with evidence contradicting recent stories about bears being blamed for break-ins reported by homeowners on Spruce Mountain. Caleb clearly and politely (better ask Grandpa the meaning of that one) presents his case that these break-ins were actually done by local Bigfoot. Here’s what he had to say:
“We all know about these “bear break-ins” across the northern parts of the valley. Cars and houses getting broken into and stolen from by apparent “bears.” But after extensive research, I am confident that these break-ins are actually the presence of the Sasquatch being covered up by Fish and Game.
But why do I think this? You see, when the bear first broke into Spruce Mountain, they set up traps to catch it, and caught it the next day. But soon after, another break-in was reported at Spruce. There is no way two bears thought to do the exact same thing two times in a row. The trap was just a decoy so that the public would not notice. Sasquatch are very smart creatures, they won’t fall into a trap.
Although some may not realize, Sasquatch are native to this area. With forests similar to the Pacific Northwest, the Northeast creates excellent habitat for Bigfoot. After much human intervention, supplies are becoming scarce and bigfoot is resorting to invading homes and vehicles.”
Let’s pause here for a moment. The most common cryptid in New Hampshire is the “wood devil” – a Bigfoot-like creature generally described as being tall (over 7 feet in height), thin (allowing them to hide behind trees), covered with grayish hair or fur and able to run exceptionally fast. They’re considered to be shy and excellent at hiding.
“I still cannot understand why people think bears could so easily open the car doors. They don’t have opposable thumbs. The Sasquatch, on the other hand, does, allowing him to open doors like humans. Bears have claws, which would scratch car paint easily. But these cars just have dirt on them. That is because Sasquatch are more precise than creatures such as bear.”
Police in Jackson, New Hampshire, reported at least alleged 10 bear break-ins during the last three weeks of July, usually in houses but a few in cars as well. In one case, they killed the bear in the house – which is proof of guilt that would hold up in court. However, White does make a good point that Bigfoot has hands that are better at handling doorknobs than bear claws can.
“With all of this evidence compiled, it is glaringly obvious that Bigfoot is the culprit of these attacks. Keep that in mind, and use caution while adventuring in the mountains. Always be ready to defend yourself and lock those car doors.”
“Glaringly obvious”? “No way two bears thought to do the exact same thing two times in a row”? “Sasquatch being covered up by Fish and Game”? Those are pretty big claims based on seemingly sparse evidence. White anticipated some skepticism, so he closes by expressing his appreciation to “Bigfoot expert Peter Caine for research help.” Peter Caine? Why does that name sound familiar?
“My Bigfoot frozen head video is doing good, 30,000 views in 2 days but that’s not good enough everyone needs to know Sasquatch is real before the Government tries to silence the truth #Bigfoot.”
Ah, yes … THAT Peter Caine. In 2017, this self-described dog trainer, artist, comedian (uh-oh) and Bigfoot expert claimed he had a cut-up Bigfoot that his father shot and killed in 1953 frozen in his home freezer – he even had a video showing the ‘head’. (Watch it here.) Caine also claimed he had eaten some of the Bigfoot meat and it miraculously cured a hip problem. THAT Peter Caine.
Does his association with Peter Caine give Caleb White’s Bigfoot the burglar theory more or less credibility? Hard to say. If Bigfoot or wood devils really do exist in New Hampshire, the ‘hands are better than claws’ argument – assuming there’s no other evidence clearly suggesting a bear did it (like a dead bear, feces, fur, scratches, etc.) – pushes the needle slightly over to the ‘blame Sasquatch’ side. Would the Department of Fish and Game cover this up? In this age of ‘put everything on the Internet’, this would be hard to do. Of course, White is a ‘letter to the editor’ kind of guy who may not be familiar with the Internet. (Ask a kid, Caleb!)
Did Bigfoot do it?