Well, they found Bigfoot and placed him in police custody. Sort of. A six-foot-tall, 180-pound statue of Sasquatch that was stolen from Mountaineer Landscaping in Linville, North Carolina this past August has been recovered. While six-feet-tall and 180 pounds is hardly worthy of the name Bigfoot, it’s still a nice statue. His hair looks majestic.
According to news station WSOC, out of Charlotte, the Bigfoot statue was recovered in the woods of Avery County, NC. The county sheriff’s department posted find on their Facebook page last Wednesday.
According to the sheriff’s department, a “very alert young man” named “Mike” alerted the police that he had found Bigfoot in the woods. Now, I’ve spent my fair share of time hanging out with degenerates at weird hours of the night (some of whom may have been named Mike), and let me just say that the Avery County Sherriff’s Department is being exceedingly gracious in their description of a “very alert” young man who says he found Bigfoot. Props to them for believing him and not doing what I would have done: put the boy to bed (sorry Mike). The Facebook post from the Avery County Sheriff’s Department reads:
A very alert young man “Mike”notified the Avery Sheriff’s that he had saw and located Sasquatch in the Edgemont Community. We feel since Sasquatch seemed unharmed and released in such a remote area, the thieves either had a change of heart or found that having a Sasquatch was just more difficult than they thought. Our deepest appreciation to Mike for the information. Until determination is made as to where Sasquatch final location will be, he will live at the Sheriff’s Office under the watch of a security camera. Pictures are of Chief Detective Frank “littlefoot” Catalano wrestling the Sasquatch into submission and his temporary home at the Avery Sheriff’s Office. We have been informed that insurance has paid the original owner so a determination will be made by the insurance company in the near future.
That’s just the way it would go, isn’t it? Sasquatch gets found and immediately placed in police custody under constant surveillance. If that’s the treatment they give to a statue, it’s no wonder Bigfoot hasn’t shown up yet.
But there’s a reason for the Bigfoot statue in North Carolina, other than that it’s just super rad. North Carolina claims a ton of Bigfoot sightings. Yes, some of those are men in ape suits, and yes some are statues. But there’s enough deep forest that, if he’s out there, I wouldn’t put it past Bigfoot hiding out in North Carolina.