Mysterious News Briefly — October 27, 2020
A movie PR team from Amazon is in big trouble for ‘willfully defacing’ the famous Cerne Abbas Giant chalk figure on a hill in Dorset, England, by draping a Borat ‘mankini’ over its genitals to promote the new Borat film on Amazon. It’s about time we get a new word for when the defacing is nowhere near de face.
A British Egyptologist examined three letters found at the ancient Egyptian village Deir-el-Medina and determined they were an early form of rage texting – messages to friends and relatives expressing frustration, annoyance, and anger. Add that to their hieroglyphics which were some of the earliest emojis and the Egyptians were WAY ahead of their time.
If you say “canceled clown” three times in front of the mirror in certain Burger King restrooms in Scandinavia, the lights will dim and a vision of Ronald McDonald will appear … not because they’re haunted but because they’ve installed special two-way smart mirrors running a new voice-recognition software. These people are already in the restroom of a fast food joint – isn’t that scary enough?
A new study theorizes that marmoset monkeys may be self-domesticating themselves like humans once did and changing their own evolution and physiology to give them traits that don’t exist in their more wild counterparts, including behavior like social tolerance and taking turns vocalizing to communicate. If only they could show politicians and talk show hosts how to do this.
Ukraine’s State Agency for Exclusion Zone Management sent a Boston Dynamics SPOT autonomous robot dog into the Chernobyl exclusion zone to survey levels of radiation and create a 3-D map of the distribution. It’s a good thing SPOT is headless or it would have brought out every radioactive stick it could find.
The Israeli startup Aleph Farms is experimenting with 3-D printing in space that will allow space travelers to have fresh, lab-grown meat anywhere they go. That’s great, but what about the buns, pickles, onions, lettuce, cheese and special sauce?
NASA’s OSIRIS-REx Spacecraft and its Touch-And-Go Sample Acquisition Mechanism picked up way too much soil and rocks from the asteroid Bennu so, before the sample leaks out, it’s closing the door early. That’s the same advice given in most popular diets to avoid overeating. Coincidence?
Johns Hopkins University political scientist Daniel Deudney warns in his new book that a Cold War-style militarized Space Race could result in a future in which space is controlled by a totalitarian empire, and suggests humans avoid setting space until there is peace on Earth. Needless to say, this book will never be made into a movie.
Astronomers have finally identified the mystery source of high-energy gamma rays 2,740 light-years away in the Milky Way – the strange binary star system PSR J1653-0158, which consists of a fast-rotating pulsar that is consuming its partner, a low-mass helium white dwarf … hence the nickname “black widow” binary. Cannibalistic black widow stars – can the news in 2020 get any worse?