Mysterious News Briefly — December 16, 2020
An engineer at the Royal Netherlands Aerospace Centre claims that all airport congestion and noise pollution problems could be solved by building runways in circles around the terminal, which would allow takeoffs and landings from any direction and in any weather conditions, with one circular runaway handling the traffic of four conventional ones. Will pilots have to remember that British airport runways turn to the left?
A gamma ray burst may have been detected in GN-z11, the oldest galaxy in the universe, and astronomers think it occurred just 400 million years after the Big Bang. Apparently, newborn galaxies suffer from gas just like human babies.
A NASA scientist has proposed a hypothetical new telescope design that would use the Sun as a gigantic gravitational lens, making it powerful enough to discern individual continents on the surfaces of planets in other star systems. The line between astronomer and voyeur just got a little more blurry.
A recent study found that robots can encourage humans to take greater risks in a simulated gambling scenario than they would if there was nothing to influence their bets. This could save Las Vegas if they can figure out how to merge these robots with an ATM.
NASA researchers say they are able to use satellite and ground-based observatories to track noticeable changes in the Earth’s environment caused by the COVID-19 pandemic. Next, they’ll try and convince us that the Elf on the Shelf is tracking who is wearing masks.
As it has since 1989, the Swedish village of Jukkasjärvi, 125 miles north of the Arctic Circle, has opened its ice hotel with 12 suites made using nothing but snow and frozen water. It’s expensive, but it’s worth it knowing that you’ll never get woken up by the sound of the hallway ice machine.
The mummy of a man who lived in the Lower Pecos Canyonlands of Texas between 1,000 and 1,400 years ago and died from a horrible case of constipation after being cared for by friends and relatives in an early form of hospice shows that he apparently ate nothing but legless grasshoppers for the last months of his life. His friends were unaware of Aesop or they would have known that ants work better than grasshoppers.
Even though it tipped over and fell against a wall at its test facility in Texas, SpaceX’s SN9 Starship prototype seems to have made a miraculous recovery and has been spotted heading towards the launch pad for the next test of the huge rocket. Someone needs to check the stock records and see if Elon Musk made a recent huge investment in the makers of duct tape.
The U.S. Food and Drug Administration announced that the GalSafe pig, a genetically modified swine made safe for people with pork allergies, has been approved for human consumption. Hurry up and taste it before Hollywood spoils the experience with movies like ‘Frankenswine’, ‘Silence of the Hams’ and ‘Hogferatu’.
Walmart announced it will begin using fully autonomous box trucks with no safety drivers to make deliveries in Arkansas starting in 2021. This will get really creepy and depressing if they use autonomous greeter bots to open the truck door and say, “Welcome to Walmart.”