Just when you thought the basketball-with-protrusions coronavirus would be the symbol of 2020, a new candidate come streaking in from parts unknown (maybe) to make a late bid for 2020 meme supremacy. We’re talking, of course, about the monolith. They started in Utah, spread to Romania and California, disappeared both mysteriously and nefariously, and ended up being claimed by an artist who has them for sale. That should have been the end of the mania … right? Ha! You forgot that this is 2020 – killing the monoliths has become as difficult and controversial as killing the coronavirus. Before that artist could start filling orders, a new supplier undercut him, a monolith appeared in the sky over Idaho, more appeared on the ground in the Netherlands, Pittsburg and on the Isle of Wight — and then came the ultimate (so far) … a golden monolith was found in Colombia! Can this be topped? Somewhere, a monolith said, “Hold my beer and watch this!”
“We went down the steps and to the right about 100 yards in front us we saw this big reflection of the sun. I knew about all the monolith stories recently, so I recognised it straight away.”
You can’t miss the monolith on the Isle of Wight’s Compton Beach, according to dogwalker Tom Dunford, who found it on December 6. It differs from earlier monoliths because it has a pointy top – from the planet of the Coneheads perhaps? This one is also extremely reflective rather than a brush metallic surface – so the aliens can collect our fingerprints? Of course, it may not be aliens – just another copycat. However, don’t tell that to the hikers in Friesland near the Kiekenberg nature reserve in the Netherlands. On the same day, they found a mini-monolith next to a frozen pond with no telltale human footprints in the frost around it. Levitating aliens?
“All of a sudden this rectangle showed up. It was only in the sky for a couple of seconds. It wasn’t there, then it was, and as quickly as it appeared, it was gone again. That quick!”
Speaking of levitation, Jeff Jacobs, was driving in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, on December 4 when he saw a dark monolith-shaped object in the sky. Luckily, he was quick with the smartphone and snapped a picture before it disappeared. The aliens leaving in their monolith spaceship to leave more homing beacons? No one seems to have an explanation for the monolith-in-the-sky, but one on the ground in front of Grandpa Joe’s Candy Shop in Pittsburgh has a logical explanation – the owner ordered it built out of plywood and sheet metal to attract customers. Finally – an honest non-alien obelisk owner.
“I will hand craft and ship to you a 10 foot tall extruded triangle 3 feet on each side, made of 7 gauge 304 stainless steel, and includes 7 foot attachable ground mounting rods with 1/2 inch toggles, these can be used by the installer to mount the sculpture in firm soil, solid rock, concrete or suspended in concrete. Properly installed it will be very sturdy, small arms bullet proof, and extremely difficult to remove.”
If you’re not handy with tools and you don’t have $45,000 to buy one from The Most Famous Artist, you can get a bullet-proof monolith on Etsy for only $10,000. That’s not much more than a 12-foot live Christmas tree these days … and it’s bulletproof! However, even that can’t compete with the greatest monolith so far.
“This Saturday, social networks in Colombia began to fill with photos and videos of what would be the strange appearance of a golden monolith in the municipality of Chía, located a few kilometers from Bogotá. It is unknown who located it there, and the only thing that is known is that it would have been found by workers in the morning.”
The tweets accompanying the Mystery Planet’s article on Colombia’s golden monolith hint that they think it’s a marketing ploy – and that seems to be as good of a guess at any right now. One thing is for certain – it’s not over, especially when there’s money to be made. And it’s a great distraction from the rest of 2020.
Sorry, coronavirus meme – your day (and that of your real inspiration) is almost over. There’s a new kid in town and his name is Mono.
Wait, they may want to rethink that before putting it on the meme.