Mysterious News Briefly — January 6, 2021
A talented auto mechanic is converting an electric Tesla to gasoline by removing the batteries and replacing them with a V8 engine from a 2010 Chevy Camaro. This guy needs to be careful that Elon Musk doesn’t land his next rocket on his garage.
The U.S. Congress is demanding a report investigating the December collapse of the iconic radio telescope at Arecibo Observatory in Puerto Rico in order to determine if funding should be approved to rebuild it. Perhaps Congress should ask the secret UFO department to release its data on how many ETs used Arecibo to get messages from home.
The Maryland-based biotech company United Therapeutics announced it will begin transplanting organs from genetically modified pigs into humans sometime in 2021, using pigs the FDA has approved for eating and whose organs now lack the trait that causes rejection. If Philip K. Dick were alive, he might ask: “Do humans with pig organs dream of bacon monsters?”
For some reason the Earth is rotating faster than it has in 50 years – fast enough that the International Earth Rotation and Reference Systems Service (IERS) is preparing to inform keepers of atomic clocks around the world to subtract a leap second as a correction maneuver. No one is sure why the planet is spinning so fast, but cutting back on those fried chicken sandwiches can’t hurt.
As part of their New Year celebration, astronauts on the International Space Station ate the space radishes which they had been tending for the past 27 days. Extraterrestrials peeking in the window probably interpreted this as a sign they’re safe from human takeover for another year.
In an attempt to copy the ability of cephalopods to change the color and texture of their skin, engineers at Rutgers University created a 3D-printed smart gel that changes shape when exposed to light and becomes “artificial muscle,” giving it applications in military camouflage. Who would have predicted that one day the Trojan horse would be replaced by the Trojan squid?
Alien big cat sightings are up in Wales after a large feline was reported on New Year’s Eve in Talacre, Flintshire, where residents of nearby Whitford, Pentre Halkyn and Llanerch Y Mor have also reported big cats and bloody killings of sheep and badgers. This could be really dangerous for tourists since none of them can read the Welsh warning signs.
There are rumors that Amazon is developing a new Alexa-enabled device called “Brahms” that will sit on a nightstand and measure your breathing while you sleep using a no-contact radar system that is supposedly going to be offered as a sleep apnea aid. That will change the moment you dream of going to work naked and wake up with a box of pajamas on your doorstep.
A woman in Whiteparish in southern England learned that a marble slab she found in her garden and has been using as a stepping stone for 10 years is actually an ancient Roman artifact and the engraving on it dates the stone to the second century CE. It’s also worth about $20,400, which may explain why she’s been singing “I’m Not Your Steppin’ Stone.”
The world’s most endangered turtle species – the Swinhoe’s softshell turtle (Rafetus swinhoei) – may have a chance for survival after a 3-foot-long female was discovered in Dong Mo Lake Vietnam … making her the world’s only potential mate for the world’s only male Swinhoe’s softshell turtle currently living at Suzhou Zoo in China. They need to make sure these two are not in a spot where that can watch the pandas or they’ll never learn how to mate.