Mysterious News Briefly — March 31, 2021
Relativity Space had been selected by the DIU (Defense Innovation Unit) to become the third launch provider for the Defense Department’s Rapid Agile Launch Initiative (RALI) program for placing small military payloads into low orbit. Whatever happened to creating the peaceful space future of The Jetsons?
Scientists at the National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST) have created a single-celled synthetic organism that divides and multiplies just like a real cell and can someday be used to build mini computers and tiny drug-producing factories out of synthesized cells. “What could possibly go wrong?” and will Chris Pine or Chris Pratt star in the dystopian movie to defeat it?
The latest SpaceX prototype of its Starship rocket was destroyed during a landing attempt after a clean launch, with SpaceX CEO Elon Musk tweeting that “something significant happened shortly after landing burn start” and the FAA has gotten involved in the investigation. Now you know why Tesla owners are suddenly afraid to parallel park.
Researchers at the Georgia Institute of Technology have figured out a way to use antenna arrays to tap into the over-capacity of 5G networks and turn them into “a wireless power grid” that offers power on demand “over the air” and eliminates the need for batteries. Somewhere in the afterlife, Nikola Tesla turned to Thomas Edison and said, “Told you so.”
Astronomers took another look at an old 1995 data set of gamma ray bursts and found two that were nearly identical and appeared in quick succession, leading them to find an intermediate-mass black hole and creating a new way to find more. Hoarders everywhere suddenly feel justified.
A Temple University professor is asking West Philadelphia residents for stool samples to help prove his theory that “irresponsible development” may cause colon cancer by increasing carcinogens and cancer-causing germs in the area. That’s just one line of a long flyer explaining that he’s not just some poop-collecting neighborhood weirdo.
ICON, an Austin, Texas, construction company that builds homes with a 3D printer, is working with NASA to use materials found on the moon to make 3D-printed reusable landing pads and eventually 3D-printed homes on the moon. “Don’t forget a garage,” thought Perseverance.
U.S. Strategic Command (USSTRATCOM), which is responsible for the U.S. nuclear arsenal, has some explaining to do after a child somehow hacked into its Twitter account and posted a gibberish tweet. “We’re not worthy!” thought Edward Snowden and Julian Assange.
A couple of DJs at 92.9 KISM in Bellingham, Washington, are giving away a dead murder hornet queen with the caveat that the winner promises not to extract its DNA and create more live ones. 2021 has decided the best way to help us forget 2020 is to go full weird.
World famous spoon bender Uri Geller is taking credit for helping free the cargo ship stuck in the Suez Canal, saying it was his “mind power” and that of his fans that righted the ship and got it moving again. If there’s a container of warped flatware onboard, skeptics owe him an apology.