Mysterious News Briefly — May 26, 2021
They’re called ‘Tasmanian’ devils but the famous marsupial have been reintroduced to Australia’s mainland 3,000 years after they went extinct on the continent and seven ‘joeys’ were recently born in their sanctuary north of Sydney. “A day that will live in infamy,” said Bugs Bunny.
The biggest problem on the horizon as the day of space tourism approaches is what to call the tourists – astronauts, amateur astronauts, space tourists, space sightseers, rocket riders, spaceflight participants or something else? “Millionaire” sounds like a good choice for now.
Good news for CAPTCHA haters – a web developer in Spain has replaced the usual annoying tests with a fun and simple Doom game to prove that you’re human – you’re not a bot if you can shoot four “imps” from Doom using a handgun. Apparently, the developer became concerned when his mom mastered the crosswalks.
Former International Space Station commander Chris Hadfield said in a CBC interview that he’s seen UFOs but “to see something in the sky that you don’t understand and then to immediately conclude that it’s intelligent life from another solar system is the height of foolishness and lack of logic.” Aliens say he’s wrong but were impressed with the polite way he expressed it.
Genetic scientists helped a blind man suffering from retinitis pigmentosa recover some of his vision using modified genes from unicellular algae which helped his eyes regain some sensitivity to light with injections and the help of special goggles. “Can we just eat algae instead of carrots?” asked people unclear on the concept.
To the fanfare of trumpets, Ravenmaster Chris Skaife unveiled the Tower of London’s newest royal raven, named Branwen after a deity from Celtic mythology, which means Britain is secure according to the legend that nothing bad will happen as long as ravens remain at the Tower. “I wonder if the shooting range will let me switch to black skeets,” thought Meghan Markle.
New research found that people who overreact to certain sounds – other people chewing, drumming their fingers, breathing – are suffering from misophonia and it’s caused by an abnormal connection between the auditory cortex (the brain’s hearing center) and the orofacial motor cortex (controlling movement of the face, mouth and throat) … and the condition can be relieved by the sufferer mimicking the sounds. This will also identify any other members of your family who can’t stand the sound of chewing.
A woman in Haywards Heath, England, called 999 to report to the police that her neighbor had sent a ghost to haunt her house – the cops managed to assure her there was no ghost and asked her not to use the emergency number for ghost calls anymore. They should have at least warned her to get rid of her Stay-Puft Marshmallows.
A new study looked at the recovery time of damaged cells as humans age and determined that the age at which cells no longer recover is 150 years – making that the maximum human lifespan. “Hold my beer for 110 years and watch this,” said Tom Brady.
Animal behaviorists at Zambia’s Chimfunshi Wildlife Orphanage Trust studied dozens of chimpanzees over a 12-year period and found that chimps develop specific handshake-like gestures depending on their social group. If they suddenly switch to fist bumps, get ready for “Planet of the Apes: Virus Edition.”