Mysterious News Briefly — June 22, 2021
A 2,000-year-old, well-preserved leather sandal was found in a bog in Lower Saxony in northern Germany and may have been lost by someone walking in sticky mud. Or someone hoping to convince their spouse they really needed a new pair of shoes like those nice high-heeled ones everybody is talking about.
China’s sweeping bitcoin crackdown has caused a crash in the price of graphics cards, allowing more people to afford to become bitcoin miners if the government wasn’t punishing high electricity users. That explains the Google searches for “longest extension cord.”
That mysterious sign in the Sedgley area of the UK demanding council action on three recent alien abductions turned out to be a hoax perpetrated by a local resident who posted an apology and used it as an opportunity to promote his graphic novel. He may want to leave it up in case angry aliens don’t like jokes and decide to abduct him.
In anticipation of the big Pentagon report on UAPs, the maker of Oreo cookies has announced “The Oreo Offering” to send “a sign of peace and unity to any extraterrestrials out there with a playful offering of earth’s No. 1 cookie.” We’re in big trouble if aliens are diabetic.
Hubble troubles continue as NASA specialists were unable to connect the backup memory module of the space telescope after a recent failure of the payload on-board computer which has repeatedly put the telescope into safe mode. Have they tried pressing the Windows key plus R?
An Arizona State University study asked “How Will We React to the Discovery of Extraterrestrial Life?” and found that “we would actually be pretty upbeat about it.” This proves we have reached a critical point where more than half of Americans have never seen “Independence Day.”
The so-called minor planet 2014 UN271 is about to make its closest pass to the Sun on its 600,000-year orbit before it loops around and makes its long trip back to the Oort cloud. It won’t be visible to the naked eye, but you might hear young aliens on it chanting “Are we there yet? Are we there yet?”
Biologist Jack Longino has spent most of his career hunting for new species of ants in the rainforests of Central America (he’s found over 100) but recently discovered a new ant species, Strumigenys ananeotes, in his own backyard in Salt Lake City near the University of Utah. Now he’s trying to figure out how to write off the cost of walking to his garden.
A University of York study found that the tradition of holding onto everyday items as keepsakes when a loved one dies dates back at least 2,000 years to the Iron Age, with some items like quernstones (for grinding grain) and bone spoons being popular keepsakes. We saw The Sentimental Spoons open for The Lovin’ Spoonful.
Former Blink-182 frontman and co-founder of the To The Stars Academy Tom DeLonge spoke recently about aliens watching over Earth and said, “It is not even debatable, the evidence is there, the governments know what’s going on.” “That’s bull-hockey – I have never met Tom DeLonge,” said the queen.
A new study of ancient geological events found that Earth has a slow, steady ‘heartbeat’ of catastrophic geological activity every 27.5 million years, but we’ve got 20 million years until the next beat. Can too many lightning strikes at once cause a Frankensteinian defibrillator effect? (Asking for a nervous friend who thinks too much.)