Mysterious News Briefly — August 24, 2021
From the “What could possibly go wrong?” file comes word that researchers from China and the U.S. teamed up to transplanting a human protein known for promoting growth into crops to make them grow more larger and heavier plants to help increase world agricultural production. If this works, look for some greedy agribusinesses to stop harvesting from beanstalks and start climbing them.
An Australian TV news program was briefly interrupted by a clip of robed people performing a Satanic ritual with one declaring: “Hail, Satan”. It was probably a prankster’s hack, but some people still called the station asking how to join that political party.
Scientists and archaeologists in Siberia discovered the world’s northernmost Palaeolithic settlement on Kotelny Island and found tools as well as several woolly mammoth bones providing evidence that they butchered the giant mammals at the site, possibly hastening their extinction. How is it that people with primitive tools could successfully hunt woolly mammoths but we modern humans can’t bring down a roach in the kitchen?
A sperm whale tooth from the Neogene period (23 million to 2.5 million years ago) discovered in North Carolina shows gouges suggesting that the giant whale died fighting an even bigger predator – a megalodon shark – making this the first evidence that megalodons attacked sperm whales. A sharknado full of megalodons could have wiped out the dinosaurs faster than any asteroid.
US Army researchers used the CRISPR-Cas9 gene editing tool to make male mosquitoes infertile and pass this on to females, thus reducing populations of mosquitoes carrying Zika, dengue and other deadly diseases, but the infertility didn’t last in the wild and they were forced to repeatedly drop more edited males into populations of females who need to mate with multiple males. Sounds like a solution that only benefits sex-crazed female mosquitoes.
According to a new study, evolution is now accepted by a majority of Americans, an increase which occurred over the last 35 years. Unfortunately, the number of Americans who demonstrate evolution seems to be dropping.
The US Department of Defense is considering a public demonstration of a formerly classified secret satellite-zapping space weapon to demonstrate that space is a "warfighting domain" and it is prepared to fight a space war. This would not be a good time for the Tic-Tac UFOs to fly overhead in formation and spell out “Surrender Dorothy.”
A spacewalk outside of the International Space Station involving NASA astronaut Mark Vande Hei had to be postponed when Vande Hei suffered a "minor medical issue" according to NASA. Fortunately, the ISS first aid kit had everything needed to treat it, including all of the insurance papers to sign first.
Medical experts are warning about a controversial plastic surgery clinic in London that is giving women vertical lips, protruding cheekbones and abnormally high-winged eyebrows so that they look like extraterrestrials. Not only is it dangerous to their health and looks, they run the risk of being abducted by horny Men in Black.
A new Canadian study found that three major grizzly bear genetic groups tend to inhabit territory that closely matches the regions of Indigenous people speaking Tsimshian, Wakashan and Salishan Nuxalk. Does this mean each grizzly group only understands one Indigenous version of “Please don’t eat me”?