The Asparamancer’s Pointed Vegetable-Based Predictions for 2022

We’ve heard from Nostradamus, Baba Vanga, Uri Geller, other psychics, time travelers and futurists on what we can expect to occur in 2022. Now it’s time to learn the predictions of this writer’s favorite psychic -- Jemima Packington, better known as the Asparamancer. We’ll first take a look at how her asparagus fell in 2021 – one thing she didn’t predict is that the world’s only asparamancer would rebrand herself as “Mystic Veg.”

"When I cast the asparagus, it creates patterns and it is the patterns I interpret. I’m able to interpret the patterns left by the asparagus. I am usually about 75-90 per cent accurate with my predictions. I go through my predictions each year and think: 'Yep, that's happened, yep, that's happened.'”

Wales Online has photos of Packington casting her special asparagus – the Bath, England, resident uses only high-quality Worcestershire asparagus grown in the Vale of Evesham, whose fertile location in the flood plain of the River Avon makes it the UK's main supplier of Asparagus officinalis – one of Europe’s favorite vegetables and a popular aphrodisiac. Of course, all the Mystic Veg cares about is its psychic powers.

• The world’s population will become kinder and more tolerant as a direct result of the pandemic and governments will be more beholden to the will of their people.
• Foreign travel will become an occasional option rather than the annual norm.
• Extremes of weather as previously predicted will continue.
• More royal births and a bereavement.
• Former President Trump will be disowned by GOP members because of his appalling handling of the US domestic situation.

Well, Packington’s picks for 2021 certainly fell into her “75% accurate” range. She should be good at it – Jemima says she realized she had the gift at age 8 and learned how to read tea leaves from a great aunt … moving on to asparagus when tea and broccoli didn’t work for her.

• Boris Johnson will continue as Prime Minister.
• More sadness for the Royal Family, including 'scandals and worse'.
• In sports, Croatia will win the Football World Cup, the West Indies will win the Cricket World Cup, England’s women's rugby team will win their World Cup.
• The British economy will rally and it will become a beacon of achievement amongst those countries unable to get to grips with their own economies.
• In entertainment, the Oscar for Best Film will go to The Power Of The Dog and Benedict Cumberbatch will be nominated for Best Actor.
• People will no longer accept shoddy services hiding behind the guise of the pandemic.
• A return to times when foreign travel was an exotic luxury will be experienced. It will no longer be a regular occurrence and travel prices will reflect this.

Like most other psychics, Packington predicts COVID will still be with us in 2022 – she says we’re stuck with it forever – and tense times will continue on the international front. However, she’s different from her competition in that many of her forecasts name names and pick winners – a knack that made her a favorite among bettors in 2019 when she correctly predicted England would win the Cricket World Cup and A Star is Born would win an Oscar.

“I take what I do seriously but I never take myself seriously."

With that refreshing attitude, I predict we will be visiting Asparamancer Jemima Packington – the Mystic Veg – around this time next year.