Sometimes, a story of a monster-type surfaces out of nowhere. The story I'm about to share with you right now falls directly into that category. The strange saga all began in July 1979, amid wild rumors that a terrifying monster was haunting the dark woods of Brassknocker Hill, situated near to the old English city of Bath. Described variously, and in both excited and hysterical tones, as a long-fanged, four foot tall creature resembling a baboon, chimpanzee, spider-monkey, gibbon or lemur, the creature was of far more concern to some than it was to others. Locals Ron and Betty Harper were hardly in good moods when they discovered that the mysterious creature had stripped whole sections of their old, mighty oak tree bare of its bark. To the kids of Brassknocker Hill, however, the hunt for the beast provided them all the excitement they needed for a jolly adventure – particularly so when, only one month later, the number of trees targeted had reached an astonishing fifty, and the woods were plunged into an eerie silence after almost all the local birds summarily fled the area, presumably for far safer and beast-free pastures. And, there were rumors that the creature lurked in a nearby - but hidden - cave. That added even more intrigue to the story.
Meanwhile, eighty-one-year-old Brassknocker Hill resident Frank Green, clearly hyped up to the max and desperately trying to live out his Dirty Harry fantasies, took a far more grave and serious view of the strange situation. He took up nothing less than a day and night shotgun vigil, and told the media in loud and worried tones: "I am very fond of some animals, but I reckon this creature could be dangerous and I am taking no chances." Fortunately, or unfortunately – depending on one’s personal perspective on the monstrous matter - Green did not have the opportunity to blast the baboon-like beast to kingdom come, or, indeed, to anywhere. It skillfully avoided all of his attempts to track it down, much to the relief of the police, who were hardly enamored by the idea of a grouchy, old-age pensioner roaming around Brassknocker Hill with a loaded shotgun in search of a marauding, unknown creature. Nearby Monkton Combe became the next locale terrorized by the Beast of Brassknocker Hill. As for the creature, it was seen by a man who was driving through the area late one night, and who offered the anonymous description to the press that the animal he crossed paths with was of a significant size, seemed somewhat bear-like in appearance, briefly stood on its thick and substantial hind legs, and possessed a pair of large eyes that were surrounded by great white circles of fur or hair.
Getting in on the growing sensationalism, a Dutch newspaper – Het Binnenhof – ran a story that, translated into English, practically suggested an assault on Brassknocker Hill of the type of proportions one would expect to see in a Tokyo-shattering on-screen attack by Godzilla! The sensationalized title of Het Binnenhof’s eye-catching article, that provided an entertaining summary of the affair, was: Beast of Bath Destroys British Wood! Far more cataclysmic than the real picture, the story and its attendant title guaranteed not just local and countrywide interest, but now international coverage, too. By the time the following summer arrived, the mystery seemed to have been solved. A policeman, one Inspector Michael Price, caught sight in the woods of what he thought was nothing less than a large chimpanzee running around; although the identification of the animal was never fully confirmed, thus leaving the cage-door open to the possibility it had been a baboon, after all. The local press quickly sought out comments from the police. And they got them, too:
"We were sure this mystery creature would turn out to be a monkey of some sort,"” said Inspector Price himself, clearly and happily wallowing in a brief wave of very odd publicity. "After all, men from Mars aren’t hairy, are they?" Quite! But rumors of strange and savage activities at Brassknocker Hill persisted, much to the glee of the local media. Two years later, the stories returned, only this time – rather curiously - the tales of a baboon, or some other type of monkey, on the loose were replaced by sightings of something very different. A stag, polecat, or even a Japanese deer, were among the many and varied candidates for the new beast of the hill. Then, one morning in the summer of 1984, reports started coming in to the news-desk of the Bath Chronicle newspaper of a strange-looking creature holding up traffic on Brassknocker Hill. Once again, for the press, the game was afoot, to reference a certain famous and fictional detective.
"I grabbed my notebook,” said reporter Roger Green, who later became the editor of the Littlehampton Gazette. "Colin [Shepherd] the photographer grabbed his camera, and we rushed out to the hill. The reports were pretty credible, so we were convinced that there was something there," Green recalled. "It was with slight trepidation that we entered the woods. After several minutes of stalking, we came across the ‘beast,’ by then calmly grazing in a field. It was an Alpaca, a type of llama, and had escaped from a paddock. It was later reunited with its owner by the police." But, quite obviously, this did not explain the earlier sightings of a baboon-like animal, which – under no circumstances, at all - could have been confused with a llama! Needless to say, the mystery was never resolved, and the baboon, if that is what it really was, vanished, died, or moved on to pastures and tree-bark new. Its place of origin, obviously, was forever a mystery.