Mysterious News Briefly
Michigan drivers are panicking over headless deer showing up along roadsides, but the Michigan Department of Natural Resources says they’re not victims of brain-wasting disease but more likely the result of an auto collision after which the driver took a trophy home. Only in Michigan does a head-on result in a head-off.
It’s not just Easter weekend … it’s also the weekend of the April Pink Moon — a full moon named for the pink creeping phlox flowers that bloom in early spring — with the best viewing on Saturday the 16th. In a double score, both “Pink Moon” and “Creeping Phlox” would make great names for bands.
Space tourism company Space Perspective unveiled the “Space Lounge” cabin of its space balloon which it calls the “world’s only carbon-neutral spaceship” – which is half-a-fib since it will only reach 20 miles in altitude, falling at least 40 miles short of the accepted boundary of near space. The cabin is plush but at $125,000 per ticket for a six hour experience, why not just book the top floor at your favorite hotel and call it the Starship Holiday Inn?
Zookeepers at Chicago’s Lincoln Park Zoo are worried that Amare, a 415-pound teenage gorilla, is addicted to the cellphones visitors hold up in front of him while ignoring his fellow gorillas. Are they afraid he will grab and throw phones displaying the poop emoji?
Michael Sweet, a professor in Molecular Ecology at the University of Derby, has resurrected the old theory that that the Loch Ness monster, like other lake and ocean monsters, is actually a whale’s penis sticking out of the water during mating sessions – ignoring the facts that no one sees whales in Loch Ness and many, if not most, of the sightings look nothing like the longnecked 1934 photo this theory is based on. The good news is … this is a sign there wasn’t much bad news to report that day so this bizarre story filled in.
Dallas Love Field has brought in two 7-foot-tall robot assistants to search for airport passengers trying to board a flight without wearing a mask or parking too long at the curb while picking up an arriving passenger. Can they be bribed with a robot Cinnabon?
A new study from the University of Georgia found that the “biggest a**holes” in many people’s lives are middle-aged men who act manipulative, aggressive and entitled, and are often exes, old bosses, or estranged family members. Did the list of authors carry the caveat: “Present company excluded”?
Astronomers discovered an enormous one-billion-year-old comet measuring approximately 80 miles across that is steaming towards Earth at 22,000 miles per hour from the edge of the solar system and will arrive in 2031 -- fortunately, it will never get closer than 1 billion miles from the sun or about the distance from Earth to Saturn. Should we add “astronomers who think all comets and asteroids are dangerous” to the “biggest a**holes” list?
After all the time and money that went into building and launching the James Webb Space Telescope, NASA finally announced its first target – the telescope will be aimed at Jupiter’s Great Red Spot to look for signatures of any chemical compounds that are unique to it. Someday, a used telescope sales rep will be pitching it as “a low-mileage telescope owned by a little old lady astronomer who only used to look at Jupiter on Sundays.”
Maybe they should point the James Webb telescope at Jupiter’s moon Europa – a new research letter suggests pools of saltwater in its icy shell may be transporting the oxygen from the surface to Europa’s subsurface ocean, making it a prime candidate for supporting life. Yes, it sounds like using your Ferrari to drive to the mailbox but it beats staring at a giant red spot, doesn’t it?