May 10, 2022 I Paul Seaburn

TikTok Time Travelers are Back with More Bad News for the Present

It’s the week AFTER the Kentucky Derby horse race when one of the longest long-shots in history won with a huge payout … so that means it’s prime time for the TikTok time travelers to show up to remind us that they’re not frauds but they never give us any news from the future we can win a wager on. As usual, their platform of choice – despite have the scientific knowhow to travel to the future – is TikTok, so let’s see what apocalyptic predictions they reveal and what music they select for the background. Spoiler alert – it’s NOT from the future!

“I come from 2027 and I'm alone in the world”

We begin with @unicosobreviviente – a.k.a. Lone Survivor or Javier – who claims to be in the year 2027 somewhere in Spain, possibly Barcelona,  and completely alone. He ‘proves’ he’s all alone by showing scenes with no people in them. That would be impressive … if not for the fact that he’s been trapped alone in 2027 for a year yet still has electricity, food, plumbing and landscaping – none of the outdoor scenes are of overgrown yards, fields or even window boxes. We don’t hear any moaning by the faceless Javier so he’s getting by without access to a doctor too. One would think someone trapped in the future – or in the future in a parallel dimension with no people -- one theory he’s proposed – would be communicating with scientists or psychics or at least other time travelers to get back, but Javier never seems to direct his messages to anyone in particular … until recently.

“Waking up, everything changes place.”

Is he trying to explain to a questioner why there are discrepancies in his TikToks? It’s possible, but a quick trip to a library to look up who won the Kentucky Derby in 2022 would be all the proof he needs to silence the doubters. Or some future background music instead of DUKI, De La Ghetto, Quevedo’s “Si Quieren Frontear (If They Want to Border)” – a good choice but already released. Come on, @unicosobreviviente – does anyone believe you’ve spent a year all alone and yet you have fresh towels, chilled champagne and a tray of cookies in your room?

"October 3rd 2022 - Creatures known as stalkers will appear around the globe."

Stakler or time traveler?

Now THERE’S a time traveler comment we can fact check on October 4th. It comes from @thehiddengod1 who also goes by Kawhi Leonard – no, not the NBA All Star who plays for the Los Angeles Clippers … although THAT would be a much better time travel story"  “NBA Player From Future Knows Where You’re Dribbling.” Unfortunately, this ‘Kawhi Leonard’, like most other TikTok time travelers, prefers apocalyptic revelations in the near future. After so many years of Facebook, is anyone really afraid of stalkers anymore?

"July 14th 2022 - 'The great split' America's biggest earthquake.”

The Daily Star ate these predictions right up – America’s biggest earthquake in just a few months should be scary for Californians, but @thehiddengod1 plays the usual TikTok time traveler game and limits his (you know it’s a he – they’re ALL men) revelations to what fits in a thought balloon. Does time travel restrict one’s vocabulary? It certainly affects spelling and punctuation if you read more than a few of their videos.

"August 9th 2022 - Over 2 million people around the world mysteriously disappear.”

Do we get to choose who? Sadly, @thehiddengod1 doesn’t seem to respond to requests. The word ‘mysteriously’ hints that this disappearance is not linked to the July 14th earthquake. Why be so coy with your revelations, Kawhi? Could it be that you’re not really a time traveler? Get ready for a “Here’s proof that I’m really a time traveler’ TikTok coming soon.

Where are the female time travelers? Maybe they have better revelations.

Why should we give these alleged time travelers any attention? Well, when they’re videos get tens of millions of downloads and they have millions of followers, it means humanity is looking for answers. Since they never seem to have any good revelations, it means humanity is in an apocalyptic mood.

Finally, since the revelations never seem to come true, it makes fact-checking time travelers a nice time-killing alternative to Solitaire or Wordle.

Paul Seaburn

Paul Seaburn is the editor at Mysterious Universe and its most prolific writer. He’s written for TV shows such as "The Tonight Show", "Politically Incorrect" and an award-winning children’s program. He's been published in “The New York Times" and "Huffington Post” and has co-authored numerous collections of trivia, puzzles and humor. His “What in the World!” podcast is a fun look at the latest weird and paranormal news, strange sports stories and odd trivia. Paul likes to add a bit of humor to each MU post he crafts. After all, the mysterious doesn't always have to be serious.

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