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Reports of Shapeshifting Vampires Cause Panic in Malawi

Strange news reports have been coming from the African nation of Malawi in the last month. A few weeks back, the Nyasa Times reported that the Malawi Police Service (MPS) had received several terrified calls about “blood suckers” lurking around, stealing victim’s blood while they slept. The MPS released a statement assuring everyone that “rumors about blood suckers have been there since time immemorial but no case has ever been proven.” That didn’t exactly calm residents of Malawi’s Mulanje District, who formed an angry mob to subsequently vandalize the local police chief’s house.

Nothing like an angry mob to set things straight.

Yes sir, nothing like an angry mob to set things straight.

That violence prompted Inspector General of the Malawi Police Services Lexten Kachama to then issue a statement assuring residents that the reports are just rumors and that police have it all under control:

Currently nobody has died for being sucked of blood here in Mulanje. Some people have just created the story to breed fear among communities. We would like to assure residents of Mulanje that they are protected and that police investigations are underway to find the root cause of such and get to the bottom of the matter.

A week later, the same news outlet reported that a civil disturbance broke out at a hospital in the same district. A woman had come in claiming that blood suckers had broken into her house at night and stolen her blood through a wound above her left eye.

The alleged victim

The alleged victim of a blood sucking attack.

Patients and visitors at the hospital broke out in a panic to see and question the woman and accosted reporters who sought more information from her. That same day, residents smashed two ambulances believed to be carrying two of the alleged blood suckers who were burned by an angry mob seeking justice for their alleged vampirism.

You might have some people fooled, Chief Inspector Kachama, but we all know you're covering for the vampires.

You might have some people fooled, Chief Inspector Kachama, but we all know you’re covering for the vampires.

Many Malawians have apparently been caught up in the blood sucker panic, and the story keeps getting stranger and stranger. Now, some residents claim these blood suckers can shapeshift/skinwalk and turn into dogs and cats at will, or even that they’re using some unknown form of technology to incapacitate their victims. Could this a case of shared psychosis or collective obsessional behavior? Or is something more sinister afoot in Malawi? Probably the former, but who knows.