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Unexplained Spike in European Radiation Worries Health Officials

If you thought the Cold War ended with the dismantling of the Berlin Wall, you’re wrong. Recent events show that shadowy espionage, international intrigue, and the looming threat of global annihilation are back with a vengeance. Ghosts of the rivalry with the former Soviet Union keep turning up not only in Russia, but in America’s own front yard as the American embassy in Havana appears to have been the target of some sort of sonic spy weapon and Soviet military technology was recently pulled up from the bottom of the sea by Hurricane Irma in what is surely a poetic symbol of current geopolitical developments. To make things even more frightening, health organizations throughout Europe are reporting mysterious spikes in radiation levels, possibly indicating secret nuclear testing on Europe’s doorstep.

Radioactive boar have been terrifying residents of Sweden lately. The boar have picked up the radiation by rummaging through soil-based fallout left over by the Chernobyl disaster.

Radioactive boar have been terrifying residents of Sweden lately after absorbing up the radiation by rummaging through soil-based fallout left over by the Chernobyl disaster.

This is the second time this year that these radiation spikes have been detected. Germany’s Office for Radiation Protection issued a press release assuring everyone that while the source seems to be Russia (where else?), the low levels of radiation currently pose no health risks:

The concentration of the radioactive material lies in a very low range between a few microbecquerel and a few millibecquerel per cubic meter. With this small amount of radioactivity there is no health hazard to the population. New analyzes of the source of the radioactive material are likely to indicate a release in the southern Ural, but other regions in Southern Russia can not be excluded.

These spikes are made even more mysterious by the particular isotopes being detected, which are unusual for nuclear weapons. Ruthenium-106 was detected in this most recent spike and is usually used in cancer radiation therapy and satellite power sources. In the spikes earlier this year, Iodine-131 was detected, which again is usually used in medical radiation therapies.

One of the worst nuclear accidents of all time is the Goiânia accident which occurred in Brazil in 1987 after a radiotherapy source was stolen from an abandoned hospital.

One of the worst nuclear accidents of all time is the Goiânia accident which occurred in Brazil in 1987 after a radiotherapy source was stolen from an x-ray machine in an abandoned hospital.

Could these spikes be due to lax medical industry oversight or improper waste disposal, or are some new unknown types of tactical nuclear weapons being tested? Worst of all, could rogue elements be constructing so-called “dirty” bombs from stolen medical radioactive material? Whatever the explanation is, one thing is certain: you better get that bunker under construction. Don’t wait until it’s too late.